Vietnam: Not what I expected, and nothing like anything I've ever done before!

The first of 6 cities on our 10-day Contiki tour was Ho Chi Minh City (you might know it as Saigon). Here, we met our Tour Leader, Cameron, and the other 29 people who would be traveling with us. About half of those had already been together, and Joe and I were among those to join the group for the last leg of the journey.

On that first night, Cam gave us a bit of an orientation to the culture. The majority of citizens are Buddhist, and as such, there are certain cultural nuances to be aware of. For one, Buddhists consider the head to be the most important part of the body; it's thus really inappropriate to touch anyone's head (which I thought was a weird thing to tell us, until he mentioned kids... oh yes, I see how it would be tempting to rustle a cute little Vietnamese kid's hair). Also, the feet are considered dirty and thus the lowliest part of the body; as such, it is inappropriate to step over someone. The people here are more inclined to wake someone up who is lying in their way, rather than put their feet over them. Part of the reason for this is that it is highly inappropriate to put your feet towards or over an image of Buddha - and you never know, that person you want to step over could have a little Buddha in their pocket.

The Buddhist people also believe in karma, and will do just about anything to please you, especially if you've shown kindness to them. While I'm not a believer in karma myself, I do try and live by the Golden Rule and I can appreciate a culture that values reciprocity of good deeds. The people here are also very concerned with losing face, and will avoid a public confrontation at all costs. Cam told us that if a waitress spills a drink, she will just laugh and laugh and try to make it a joke to avoid the embarrassment of making a mistake so publicly (and yes, we did see this happen a couple of times!).

We really didn't have much time in Ho Chi Min at all, and just did a cursory walk through a Night Market, the Reunification Palace (constructed to celebrate the reunion of North and South Vietnam) and the War Remnants Museum (which was built after the Vietnam War, was incredibly biased, and should really be named the "We Hate the USA" Museum).

But my favourite thing about Ho Chi Min was the kid in the bar who worked his "I'm a cute kid" shtick beautifully. He was entertaining (employing such sales tactics as rock-paper-scissors, bartering for dance moves, and feigned shock at our outrageously low offers for his bracelets). I've got the whole story (brilliantly re-told by Joe and I) on film, so I won't re-tell it here.

What I didn't realize at the time, is that these kids actually have a heartbreaking story. They have bosses to report to, who beat them or turn them back out onto the street if they haven't sold enough or made enough money. The "cute kid" quality is exploited endlessly. This is no life for a child. So I'm torn between not wanting to support this system as a whole, and wanting to prevent this one little Michael Jackson-loving kid from meeting a nasty end at the close of the day. The fact was, I did buy a bracelet. We negotiated and made a deal. And I honoured it when I lost our epic-best-of-five rock-paper-scissors match. But now that I know he had to hand over my money to his boss...I don't know. I haven't yet worked out how I feel about this. All I know is that when I picture him in my head... well, it's the spontaneous "kid" moments I remember - the way his face lit up when I mentioned Michael Jackson, the absent-minded way he played with the money I gave him. Exploitation or not, this was a cute kid with a massive personality.

As for the men on the trip, I'm pretty sure the highlight was the spa massages which offered a "happy ending" - I'll let you work that one out on your own...

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The next stop on the tour: Nha Trang. Our day here was spent on a boat, sailing the beautiful coast of Vietnam. Highlight of the day was definitely snorkeling in the clear blue water. I'd forgotten just how much I love to swim - so being able to do this was just amazing for me. It's so peaceful to just dip your head under the water and block out all sound. Just breathe and focus on the fantastically bright fish and coral around you. Joe asked me if I enjoyed it once we got back on the boat... And all I could say was a hearty "YES!" Everything about that experience sums up what I love: being near the water, seeing things from a different perspective, and doing things that are "other than normal."

Another highlight would definitely have to be the "Boy Band" experience. This was talked up all day, so when it was finally time for it to begin, I turned to Cam and told him I was expecting something "epic" ... And EPIC it was!! The crew from our boat (and another) stood up in front of us and got out their instruments (plus their token "lady-boy" vocalist with the coconut bra) and played their hearts out. It. Was. Awesome. After they assured us we were going to see them soon "on MTV", they played their set, which was awesome in a "wow...is this really happening? It is both amazing and hilariously ridiculous at the same time" kind of way. Next, they asked where we were all from, and then proceeded to invite people up to sing a song representing their country. And they could do ANY country... Including the New Zealand Haka and something from Israel!

Next up was the water sports. A few of our new friends (our "Back of the Bus Brigade") and I decided to have a go at the Banana Boat. I'd never even heard of this before, and had certainly never seen it, but I seemed to be the only person who could claim this. For the other uninformed souls like me out there, it's basically a tube that's been stretched out into the shape of a banana; 5 people hold on for dear life (or try to) while being dragged behind a speed boat. It actually ended up being loads of fun (and so was cursing Buckles for continuously trying to flip us).

photo credit: Joseph Liu

photo credit: Joseph Liu

At the end of a long day, we figured there was no better way to relax than by chillin' in the mud baths. Ahhhh....mud. It was lovely, and made our skin feel oh-so-smooth! Finding mud in my ears for days afterwards was decidedly LESS lovely...

photo credit: Allan Wirtz

On our way back, I peppered Cam with questions. He talked about the face masks worn by so many of the locals here, which are donned for a variety of reasons. Given the memory of SARS, I assumed it had something to do with infection, but it's actually got more to do with pollution. People don't want to breathe it in, and women also don't want it to affect the colour and composition of their make-up! They also wear hoodies with long sleeves in the crazy-hot weather because they hate tanned skin - dark skin is associated with the labouring class, who spend all day outdoors in the blazing sun. It's much more desirable to have fair skin, which could mean you're well enough off to work in an office somewhere.

I also asked about the children I saw everywhere running around, late at night. Apparently it's related to the make-up of their homes. There are tons of shops everywhere in these big cities, and the family who owns and runs each one has their house behind or above the store. There's no common living spaces in these small dwellings, so people congregate in the shops or on the streets. That's where the kids play too.