I read some inspirational list of things you’re supposed to do in your life a while back (likely some New Years Resolution drivel). The one thing that really stuck with me was a simple expression of a desire I’ve had for some time now.
I want to do something extraordinary.
I want to get to the end of my life, look back, and know that I’ve made a difference somehow. I’m not interested in skating by through this lifetime, with just doing the bare minimum and “getting through” each day. I want to work towards something, to earn something, to achieve something huge. Not big. HUGE.
...but how? How do you get from ordinary to extraordinary? And how do I pick? To be honest, I’m not very inventive. I’m not very good at “thinking outside the box.” As a friend of mine commented a while ago, that’s because the box has gotten so big. And I think he has a point. In this technological age, where everything is created and developed at an exponential rate, where is there room for me to edge in and do something memorable, on a grand scale?
I can’t even begin to imagine what my “extraordinary accomplishment” might actually BE, either. It’s like I’m “dreaming BIG!” but without having a tangible dream (which, let me tell you, is a little disconcerting!). I feel like there are two possible ways for this goal to play out:
1. I plan and dream and work hard towards a known goal (for instance, I could write a bestselling series, a la J.K.Rowling or Jeff Kinney). So the idea here is that I define what I want to do (and therein lies the problem with this one), then get all Angela-like (driven and hardworking) and tackle it step-by-step. But again... what’s the goal? How do I choose? What are my options?
or...
or...
2. I’m in the right time at the right place and act with the right response (such as saving someone’s life). There’s little I can do to prepare for this one (thus the problem). But maybe I can put myself into situations where something extraordinary might happen? Start volunteering at the hospital, or make lots of friends so that one day one of them asks me for a kidney? Yeah, okay, even *I* think that sounds a little silly...
Most people who have even cursory knowledge of me know that I’m super busy. I pack my schedule full of all sorts of things – work, volunteering, socializing, etc. It’s a “slow week” when I only have ONE plan each night after work. And I’ve been criticized for this; people worry that I’m not leaving enough time for myself, for finding a partner, for ... whatever they think should be important to me. But the truth is that I equate hard work with success. So the harder I work, and the more I accomplish in a day, the closer I get to achieving increasingly higher goals.
I’ve always been this way. The difference over the past few months is that I don’t know anymore what the next goal is. So I just keep working hard, but it’s not focused work. It’s a little scattered. And that’s hard for me to reconcile in my head.
*sigh*. I’m kind of at a loss here. Most of you who read this blog know me fairly well... any suggestions? (...given my lack of consistency in posting to it these days, is anyone even reading it anymore?)
